Everything I’ve read says not to ask friends and family to read your work. And as much as you read this advice, it’s still hard not to do it! You’re proud of your work and you want to share that pride with the people that mean the most to you. Sometimes, they give exactly the feedback you need, that extra enthusiastic push that keeps you working on your dream. Other times…it’s not so good.
I asked a friend of mine, who is a newspaper editor, to do me the favor of reading and editing the first draft of my book. She seemed excited and supportive of the idea, but then never read it. I never knew if she read it and hated it but didn’t have the courage to tell me she hated it, or if she simply didn’t have the time or inclination to read it. I would have been far better served to offer her money to do it, or to just hire an editor I didn’t know.
Others I asked to read, old writer friends, family members, seemed to take FOREVER to read it. They’d say they started it, and were enjoying it, but they never seemed to finish it. It made me think my ending sucked, or that I wasn’t able to maintain the interest of the reader. I made excuses for them like, it’s hard to read a huge, single-sided, double-spaced book in bed or no one wants to read an entire book on their computer screens…but I also thought, that if one of THEM had given me a book of theirs to read, I would have read it! Asking them to read and not getting a full response on the book did FAR worse for my confidence than good.
My sister, on the other hand, was fantastic help. She tore through the pages as quickly as I could send them. She gasped at the right places, gave me great advice for things to change and add, and motivated me to keep working.
But sometimes, you simply shouldn’t ever, ever, EVER ask! More on that next time…
M. L. Doyle has served in the U.S. Army at home and abroad for more than two decades as both a soldier and civilian. Mary is the author of The Desert Goddess series, an urban fantasy romp consisting of The Bonding Spell and The Bonding Blade. She has also penned The Master Sergeant Harper mystery series which has earned numerous awards including an IPPY, a Lyra Award and the Carrie McCray Literary Award. Mary is the co-author of two memoirs; A Promise Fulfilled; the story of a Wife and Mother, Soldier and General Officer (Jan. 201) and the memoir, I’m Still Standing: From Captive U.S. Soldier to Free Citizen—My Journey Home (Touchstone, 2010), which was nominated for an NAACP Image award. Mary's work has been published by The Goodman Project, The War Horse, The WWrite Blog and The Wrath-Bearing Tree. Mary retired from her career as an Army Public Affairs officer in 2020, then packed up her two cats and moved back to her home state of Minnesota where she takes tap dancing lessons, serves on the board of several nonprofits and enjoys taking an afternoon nap when she can. You can read excerpts of all of her work on her website at mldoyleauthor.com. Facebook.com/mldoyleauthor, or Bluesky @mldoyle.bsky.social.
2 comments on “My Road to Getting Published – Should Friends and Family Read Your Book?”
I'm sorry.It was the whole reading the 300 pages on the computer thing that got me. Plus, i think you had mentioned that by the time I started it you had already changed a bunch of stuff
YES! Cause it took you so long to start reading it in the first place! But, seriously I know the computer screen reading isn't fun. And you really don't have to apologize. What I will say in my next post is that I never should have given it to ANYONE to read until it was done.